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OK boomer, please stay home

Jody Vance: It seems as though the generation most vulnerable to COVID-19 is also the one most often risking infection.

“Hey! Stop congregating, you COVIDIOTS!” — “Back off! SIX FEET” — “2 meters PLEASE!” -- “Physical DISTANCING, don’t you get it?!” 

As we witness the wonders of civilian policing of public places, many of us are in awe at the realization the biggest physical distancing, and self isolation, rule breakers are actually Baby Boomers!?

Welcome to week 4 of COVID-19 lockdown, when we all started barking in frustration at the grownups.

Okay, Boomer – let’s do this.

Let’s establish some facts. We, your kids and grandkids (most of us) are being strict in our social distancing and isolation to protect YOU. We are literally following the direction of health officials to the letter, doing things to the extreme, to help our healthcare workers stay at full strength in the event that you need them. You.

We need you to stay home. We need you to not waver. No, you cannot visit with friends, or worse, host your neighbours for dinner. It is so very vital that you absorb and acknowledge how deadly COVID-19 is, for you.

Please STOP WATCHING US CABLE NEWS! (Sorry for yelling, but, you really need to stop that) Get the real deal on here, from here, and that’s going to be found on a Canadian news network. Pick one.

When you do, you’ll see, watch, and hear stories filled with graphs and curves, all indicating the same inescapable fact: boomers make up the majority of hospitalization/ICU and deaths.

I wish that wasn’t the case, but it simply is.

Thankfully, experts say COVID19 is mostly not deadly for kids — but the boomer death rate, for 70+, is alarmingly high.

To save your own life, the very best thing you can do is STAY HOME.

Please, do not “just go” to the drugstore, liquor store, grocery store — get one of us to do it. Be honest, as you are reading this, count the number of times you’ve heard loved ones say: “Seriously? You had to go out? For WHAT?”

We are doing this because we love you, not to control you, nor take away your freedom. This is only temporary — and not a drill.

Note how your adult kids are driving all over hell’s half acre trying to cover your every need? Right, so please stop with the lame excuses for unnecessary outings.

The biggest message here is that compliance could literally be the difference between life and death. We know you feel young, but you are an elder and, again, the vast majority of those dying from COVID-19 are over 70.

For those who don’t have family handy, ask a neighbour; I bet they’d be happy to add your needs to their list on the weekly shop.

Yes, you can get some fresh air each day, do a few loops of the neighbourhood to keep the joints moving, ready to get back to the links when this is all over. Do yourself a solid and pick a time when sidewalks are all but empty. If you see someone coming, even someone you know (and like) give them a wide berth, preferably a six-foot radius.

There is encouraging news on how we are all doing in BC flattening the curve. The only real downside is the frustration brewing inside those of us living the strict life of social isolation toward folks who simply ignore their civic duty.

The frustration is not unfounded. A walk along most any beach in Metro Vancouver is a case study in “ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?”

If communities don’t go all in on physical distancing, the next steps of curfew and total lockdown are not far off. Boomers can be leaders.

So, please. Promise that you will lock down for the next few weeks, starting now, until health experts give you the okay. If it helps, mark each passing day on your wall calendar with a big fat X — so you can feel the accomplishment as you nail it.

You raised us right, and now we need you to walk the walk. Stay Home. When you do stay home, you can sit at your window and yell at those not following protocol. Then we can all look forward to a return to blaming other generations for things like avocado toast.

Jody Vance is a born and raised Vancouverite who’s spent 30 years in both local and national media. The first woman in the history of Canadian TV to host her own sports show in primetime, since 2011 she’s been working in both TV and radio covering news and current affairs.